and you said cock pushups were impossible
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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