Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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