I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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