So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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