After last night, I could never be a politician.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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