The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
