So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
