Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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