I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
