Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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