i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
