Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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