omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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