i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
