I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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