The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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