so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
