Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
