are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
