Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
