I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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