Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.