did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges