so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go