ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
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he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?