Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school