Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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