i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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