Your tits are I can't wait for
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
