You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
