Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
