yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
