Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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