I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
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