I wish they made helmets for livers.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
