there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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