I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
They have beer where we have blood.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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