just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
