Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
