But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
