Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
