she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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