Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
