I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
