Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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