Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
