the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
