I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
