i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
