Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
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Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
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She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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