I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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