Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize