I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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