I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
