Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
