Michael Bay diarrhea
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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