I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize