Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This is classic penis vs brain.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
