I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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