I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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