farters have to be the big spoon...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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