I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
