I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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